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Calvin Hobbes Drug
Gay ex-officer to testify on ban
RIVERSIDE, Calif. - If the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy were lifted today, Mike Almy would not think twice about returning to the Air Force.

The 4th Promise from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states that, you "will know peace."

If you have had the experience of being a full fledged alcoholic, you probably know very little about peace. It is more likely that you know the police!

Is it really possible to know "peace" without the help of liquid courage?

How does a recovering alcoholic attain such enlightenment?

The answer is actually very simple. You have to practice.

Over the past four year, I have had the extreme pleasure and privilege of playing hockey with former NHL hockey stars in the Old-timers Hockey Challenge. Even 10 - 20 years past their prime as professional players, these NHL stars play with tremendous skill, precision and confidence. They may be a few steps slower, but they are still masters of their profession. How did they ever get to be professional players and play at such a high level? The answer is that they practiced very hard for years before and during their professional careers.

If you want to experience a successful recovery program, you must also practice hard.

Anything worthwhile in life requires practice and determination. If you truly want to "know peace," it is going to take a lot of practice to get there.

Peace can be defined as freedom from conflict or strife of any kind.

As a practicing alcoholic, your life was filled with constant and relentless trouble and turmoil. By "putting the plug in the jug," you have taken the 1st step to "know peace."

However, it is going to take consistent practice of various relaxation techniques before you are able to know peace.

Here are 10 methods some AA members have taken to experience peace and harmony in their life:

1. Sit quietly in a comfortable setting for at least 20 minutes a day. An easy meditation technique is to simply focus on breathing long and slowly for a count of ten.

2. Read a passage every morning from one of the many inspirational meditation books that are available in book stores. This is a great way to start your day.

3. At the end of each day, count your blessings. Write down a list of 10 things that you are grateful for and you will feel your stress dissolve away.

4. Exercise your cardiovascular system at least 3 to 4 times each week. Walking briskly, running, swimming and dancing are great activities to keep fit and reduce stress.

5. Don't stew about your problems. Call your sponsor or a friend in recovery and talk things over.

6. Laughter is the best medicine. Buy a humorous book such as Herman, Calvin and Hobbes or The Far Side and read a few pages every day. It is very difficult to be stressed when you are laughing loudly.

7. Eat a well balanced diet of 3 meals a day to maintain proper blood sugar levels.

8. Seek the professional help of a counselor, psychologist or spiritual advisor if stress and anxiety are preventing you from performing your normal daily routine.

9. Volunteer on a regular basis to help those who are in need or who are less fortunate than you.

10. Be consistent and be persistent.

Recovery from alcoholism is similar to putting pennies in a piggy bank. In the beginning there is not much to show for your efforts, but with time you will experience immense benefits.

If you conscientiously implement and practice these 10 steps, you will eventually "know peace." Remember that the promises of recovery will always materialize if you work for them.

Dr. Larry Smith Chiropractor and Author of:

Embrace the Journey of Recovery: From Tragedy to Triumph!

Do you need immediate help with your recovery program?

“If your answer is yes, then this book is for you!”

Embrace the Journey of Recovery will passionately reignite your spirit and you will see and feel changes immediately!

You will quickly learn how to confront, conquer and powerfully triumph over addiction, cancer or any other life threatening illness!

Experience the remarkable story of two courageous yet ordinary individuals and their astonishing recoveries from heartbreaking tragedy. Find out how a cancer survivor and an alcoholic mutually support each other and passionately embrace the journey of recovery.

They transformed their lives and you can too!

To purchase this book and all of the special offers click here: http://embracingthejourneybook.com

Would You Like Lies With That Whopper?

I haven't written a article for a little while, mainly because I haven't had anything particularly interesting to say.

"If you haven't got anything interesting to say, then don't say anything at all" is what my mother used to tell me (actually, it was more along the lines of "If you haven't got anything to say that doesn't start with b and sounds like snitch, then don't say anything at all!")

She still says that, usually when I am reading about what the vapid, brainless waste-of-space that is a Hilton sister – take your pick – is doing.

I do agree, when there is simply nothing useful to be uttered, silence really is golden.

Which brings me to the issue of "Used Car Dealers" (what, I hear you say, have second-hand car dealers got to to do with anything? Bear with me...there is a point somewhere here...)

                                            

I haven't got a lot of time for these people. They are up there in the top ten of "People Who Ignore The Golden Silence Rule". They will pretty much feed you any sort of fabrication in order to get you driving away in one of their vehicles.

The fellow that I bought my wheels from spent 10 minutes explaining the features and benefits of the car and the next 2 hours rambling on about his travels to Uzbekistan and his wife's unfortunate case of gastroenteritis. I ended up just throwing my credit cards at him, grabbing the keys and screaming out of the lot, in order to avoid hearing what the test results of her lilac-coloured urine were.

You have to give it to him though. I spent $10,000 on a car sold to me by a man who was obviously, as we say in these here parts, full of it.

I returned home today, after a delightful little sojourn on the Northern New South Wales Coast, only to pick up the paper and discover that Norma Khouri has joined the esteemed ranks of those in the "Used Car Salesman" world, and is now selling second-hand Mustangs in Naperville, Illinois.

For those of you who have not heard, Norma Khouri is a literary genius.

She penned a heartbreaking biographical story titled "Forbidden Love" about her turbulent life in Jordan. Specifically, she wrote about the horrific murder of her childhood friend Dalia, whom was executed as part of the "Honour killings"culture which makes it perfectly legal for family members to "off" their offspring in cases of adultery.

All very unsettling to be sure, and Khouri painted quite a vivid picture. I certainly couldn't put the book down.

Devastating, tragic, calamitous...and....a load of cobblers!!

Turns out that Ms Khouri left Jordan when she was three and was happily living in the US, in Chicago when she painted this little piece of fiction, 30 years later (oh, she was also trying to avoid the authorities over a little incident involving fraudulent cheques, but that really is neither here nor there, don't you think?). She ended up peddling her "true story" here in Australia, selling the odd 200,000 copies.

When questioned about her runaway success a couple of years ago, she tearfully murmured that the proceeds meant nothing compared to the plight of her friend Dalia and the rest of the women who are victims of Honour killings. She dabbed her eyes dutifully in front of the camera before grabbing her money bags and heading home to her beautiful abode on Bribie Island here in Queensland.

Now that the truth is out about Ms Norma Khouri (actually her real name is Norma Toliopoulus, but that didn't sound quite tragic-middle-eastern-slave-woman enough) she has left Australia and is back in her adopted American state of Illinois selling used cars.

In all probability, she will be telling her clients mournfully about the tragedy of her imaginary-friend Dalia and why they should purchase the new Dodge Neon...in order to aid the downtrodden women of her homeland.

I think this new turn in her career is most apt, given her obvious talent to tell great big whoppers.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not new.

We had Helen Demidenko (aka Helen Darville, aka Big Fat Fibber) mincing around in front of the cameras dressed like a fancy gay-man's Ukrainian Maypole, telling anyone who would care to listen about her harsh, Eastern-European heritage,when she was really just a little Brizvegas birdy looking for some angle to sell her so-called true story.

                                        

Most recently, James Frey, author of "A Million Little Pieces", came out and admitted that his best-selling biography of drug addiction was also something of a "Fantasy Island" episode.

This ticked a few people off, including Oprah Winfrey (whom I believe was ready to break James Frey himself, into a million little pieces, given the fact that she had the book on her prestigious "Reading Recommendation List" as well as actively promoting him on her show).

Like art, stories and written pieces of work are completely subjective. I like reading novels, the man of the manor is quite partial to Calvin and Hobbes. Written work is as diverse as any other artistic medium, and sometimes you hit a chord that ensures you a place on the New York Times Bestseller List...be it the fictional "Harry Potter" Series or the non-fictional "Atkins Diet" - better known as eat meat and die(t)

Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn't matter when the content is interesting and well-written.

Just don't....don't....write a story, and then tell the world that it is true when it is not. There is something extremely on the nose about receiving the accolades and financial rewards that come with exceptional pieces of non-fictional, biographical literature, when in reality, it is no more a personal account than me saying I lived on the Magic Roundabout, and dropped acid with Dougal the dog and Ermintrude, whilst narrowly escaping the clutches of the evil and murderous Zebedee.

                             

Fiction stories: Good.

Non-Fiction stories: Good

Fiction stories marketed as Non-Fiction stories: ........?

Well, as my wise mother said, if you can't say something that doesn't start with f and rhymes with tucked.....

About the Author

Kylie is a well travelled free-lance writer who has been published in several magazines in Australia and the United States including "Honestly Woman" and "Third Coast Marketing".

Come on in..sit down and enjoy...bring your prescription drugs if necessary.

Tags: art, calvin hobbes, CALVIN KLIEN, calvinandhobbes, calvinhobbes, drug, ritalin